2 days and counting...

i cant wait for friday. it feels like i havent been home in awhile, and i miss it. i also just need a break from school. once all my projects are done this week my stress level can decrease a bit. and assimus is definitely coming home with me for a few days! :) im excited for her to meet the rest of my family, although they can be a little weird sometimes..but hey, we're all a little weird right? ;) it is looking to be a fairly busy week, seeing family, more than one thanksgiving meal to allow us to see everyone, and getting some quality time in with the rents, and big sis of course. assimus and i might spend the night at her apartment on saturday. could make for a fun girls night. so basically, im counting the hours till i can go home..downside is its a 4 hour drive-but assimus will keep me company:)

i have to give a presentation later today in my night class. i absolutely HATE public speaking. i am extremely shy and self conscious so i am terrified of standing in front of people and talking. today hopefully wont be too bad, its a group presentation, so the speaking is shared and not all the attention is on one person. being shy is a huge aspect of my personality, but it hinders my decision making a lot of the time. i dont speak out in class, i dont tend to say hi to people if they dont say hi, and i kind of stick to myself (or assimus if she happens to be around) in large groups of people-which i am aware may make me look like a total bitch, but im really not!
"the key to individuality is to get rid of the 'im afraid of looking stupid' fear"-that fits me to a T. but trust me, im working on it. maybe someday...

do you ever wish you could make life just a little easier for someone? assimus has gone through so much, especially lately, and she cannot catch a break. i just wish i could make things easier for her so she wouldnt have to deal with it all the time. if only parts of my own life could rub off onto hers-cause i really shouldnt complain, i have a pretty decent life. all you can do is be there for them though, and hope and pray that things turn out for the better-which trust me. i am.

on a lighter note, i should definitely thank my sister for being the wonderful sister she is. on friday i asked her to do me a favor for a project im working on, and being the fabulous architect she is, she stayed late at work to do it for me:) oh, and on top of that? she went home the next day to stack wood..knowing full well im headed home this weekend-shes just great. and i definitely dont thank her enough or give her the credit she deserves. shes so good to me! and after spending 2 years at the same college, i miss her dearly. cant wait to see her this weekend:) we also have to plan out the tattoo we're going to get. i had to do a little convincing on her part;) we're going to get a symbol relating to sisterhood thats creative and pretty, and i think she'll be happy with the results.

so i cant wait to go home this weekend for thanksgiving. school has been sort of stressful lately, and this week definitely will be. it will be nice to be away for a little while. i miss the family, so a week home will be great! and assimus might be coming home with me for a few days too:)

i better get back to work...stressful week remember?

im scared but thats not the same as being afraid

so last night in one of my classes i had to take the practice NCLEX exam. for those of you that dont know, the NCLEX is an exam i take after graduation to become a nurse. if i dont pass it, i dont become a nurse. a tad stressful? yes i'd say so-to me anyways. i dont like change.at all.period. the fact that graduation is coming in about 6 months freaks the hell out of me, and even more so that i cant slow it from coming.

i dont know what i want to do after graduation. obviously with my career choice i will have a job most likely. but where? where to move to, and who to move in with-cause god knows i cant live by myself. ive practically done that for the past 3 years and its not so great. i know these seem to be small and sometimes exciting decisions for most other people, but i feel mini panic attacks everytime graduation is brought up. ive built this comfort zone around me and lived within it for the past few years, ive created a routine and made friends and created this buffer, which has allowed everything to stay the same-just how i like it. once May comes, i lose control, and thats not a feeling i enjoy. im scared of losing the close circle of friends i have. i know im not "losing" them, but in all reality, those friendships will change, and like i said...change=fear. i fear the unknown, which i understand can be exciting and great, but what if it isnt? i realize most people reading this will wonder why im having such an issue, and would love the opportunities i have available at the moment..which are pretty much anything i want. and its still 6 months away. i have time. it just seems to be slowly closing in. and i dont know how to stop it.

lazy sundays

"You know that feeling you get on Sunday where you just had the whole day to yourself, and it's been great, and then you remember that you have to go to school the next day, and it just ruins the rest of the night?" [one tree hill]

for those that dont know, i love quotes. oh and lyrics. but that sums up my feelings about sundays. i like them, except when they turn into sunday nights and doing work and knowing you have class in the morning after having the weekend to yourself. i didnt do much today-slept, relaxed and got started on some work. its nice to have days like that every once in awhile, but being at home all day can get kind of bleh. my roomate barely lives here-and by that i mean about 2 nights a week, if that-so it can get kind of lonely. i also miss home. school is stressful and i cant wait for thanksgiving break, but it seems so far away. oh btw...patriots game is on-they've got to win! i dont usually like watching sports on tv besides the pats :)

anyway. i should get back work. procrastination is my friend AND enemy. have to prepare for another week...

girls day :)

today was planned as a girls day for just my assimus and i :) shopping and looking at engagement rings! did i mention assimus has a serious bf that she's been dating for about 9 months? well he was gone for the day, so her and i took the opportunity to get some girl time in. we went to the nearby mall where i bought a few new things...then her and i went to several jewelry stores in the area for her to look and try on various engagement rings to determine what she likes the best. i was there for pure entertainment, but also to pass along what she likes to the bf. shopping for rings is a lot of fun, even when you're not the one trying them on :) (for anyone wondering, i am currently single and in no way even near looking at engagement rings!) so for now, i am perfectly content living vicariously through assimus. we finished the day off with a good ol chick flick before the bf came back. all in all it was a very successful and fun day together :)

to continue from last post, there is my dependee, and i am her dependent. we became fast friends my freshman year in college and our friendship only grew closer the next 2 years, and the last year we were inseparable. only downside? shes 2 years ahead of me in school and graduated a couple years ago :( but upside? we've managed to stay as close as we were before, just not as close in miles. her senior year at school, she lost her license so i was her appointed driver, which only allowed for us to hang out even more! we spent a lot of time with another couple of friends, who had a joke that they couldn't stand to be separated after graduation, so one was going to claim the other as their dependent so they could stay together (inside joke for them of course) however, we thought it was a great idea-thus, the weird nicknames. but the title of dependent is shared because she had her own little dependent last year! hes the cutest little boy i've ever seen and im proud to be his god-mother:) he was a surprise at the time to my dependee, but has turned out to be the best surprise ever. shes an amazing mother and im in awe of how she does it all. and through it all, she and i have remained so close and i love it. we managed to have more fun in the last few months before she graduated than i could ever have imagined. she is such a great friend and has always been there for me-to listen, lend a shoulder, or most importantly, make me laugh :)

i couldnt not mention assimus's bf as a substantial person in my life. hes probably one of my best guy friends, and through the past year, we've grown a lot closer. i consider him the brother i never had. he and assimus have an amazing relationship that most would envy, and he treats her so well, if only we could all be so lucky!

i think thats enough for tonight..i dont want to overload you with details, but stick around-theres more to come.

support system

so i thought i would start by introducing you to the people i surround myself with every day. my friends are my life. i would do anything for any of them and they are extremely important to me.

my sister. she is 3 years older than i am and she is my role model and has been since i can remember. it took me awhile to think of an appropriate name for her, but i decided on the dreamer. she dreams to the tips of her fingers and doesnt let anyone or anything get in her way, and she works her hardest to make these dreams come true. props to her. if only we could all be so brave as to live out our dreams, or allow ourselves to believe in them. she has been there for me through thick and thin and i cant thank her enough for being an amazing older sister, but also an amazing friend. and i can also thank her for the quarter-inch scar on my left cheek-and wont ever let her forget it ;) haha

my assimus. i know you're wondering where the hell that nickname came from. long story short-her sarcasm is undeniable, and one day i was shopping and found this sign that said "national sarcasm society: pluribus assimus" and that name just stuck from then on. assimus is my best friend, and although we haven't known each other for all that long (about a year) we have been through more than most best friends will ever go through. we have definitely had our rough times, but in the end they have only strengthened our friendship. she is my inspiration. she has endured more than anyone could ever imagine, but is the most amazing person. her strength is incredible. she allows me to be myself-which in some cases is a complete dork-with no judgements. i cant thank her enough for all that she is and for allowing me to be her best friend.

there are soo many more influencial people in my life-but for today, i'll start with those. :)

i loe you

so. blog one. this is something new i thought i would try-pretty much copying my one and only amazing older sister (much cooler and interesting nickname to follow) it seems cool, but i'm not really good at the whole writing thing, so we'll see how it goes, and my life may not seem that interesting to you!

so maybe i should explain where the title of blog one comes from. the whole set up process is very taxing, and when you are attempting to do it with your best friend, whom i will name assimus from here on out (to be explained later) it ended up turning into a comedy show. in this conversation she mentioned, "I LOE YOU", which to make up for the typo, explained, "you're to cool to have the same love as everybody else", which just ended up in more laughter. ok..so for all of you who did not think that was funny? thats just how we are. get used to it.

thats it i guess for the first one. i'll work on it dont worry.