unanswered questions

do you ever wonder what it is that causes us to spend so much time in that never-ending search for mr. right? that one person that just makes everything so much better [or so you think at the time]?

why, i ask, do we spend a majority of our waking hours pondering who it might be? if that stranger you just brushed past in the grocery store may in fact be him? if the coffee guy who waits on you every morning and knows your order secretly wants to date you? with so many other things going on in our day to day lives, why do we linger on the fact that we are alone?

perhaps things seem like they are better when there is someone to share them with. a bad day at work doesn't seem so bad when you have someone to come home to. a torn friendship is easier to handle when someone is holding your hand through it all. we have all been there..[ok maybe not me exactly], but when the prospect of someone new emerges, things become just a little better. you catch yourself grinning ear to ear for no apparent reason. those butterflies you giggled about with your friends in grade school have suddenly returned. you think you've just entered your own version of a classic romantic movie that's been on repeat for the past year in your mind. of course it's only natural to want to feel this way about someone and have them return those same feelings.

but why, when we can't find this, do we spend all of our waking moments wishing for it? why can't we just be happy with what we have in the here and now. i've continually attempted to live the, "when you stop searching, it will come" mantra, but let's face it, im getting impatient.

i just wish i could spend more time focused on the me. here and now. and be happy with that; rather than spend my days wishing for something more.